We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
