Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You took a bar mat shot.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
