If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
