I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
