That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
