You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
