I faked an abortion last night.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
