An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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