Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
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