whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
