ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
