He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
false alarm, still single
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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