Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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