whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
