Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
