in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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