she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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