on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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