never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
