Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
