good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
