is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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