We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
