vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize