i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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