I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
