your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
