I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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