Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
