Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
