You made me cry and you don't even care
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
