Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize