No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize