Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
