when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
