we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
