They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
