YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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