Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Randomize
