we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
