Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
