I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Let's paint friendship bongs
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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