My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
