Christians are straight up FREAKS
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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