The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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