You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
