So drunk, too bad you don't want this
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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