I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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