Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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