He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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