well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
