So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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