We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
