Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
