and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
