Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
