Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
She is in my trunk
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
