just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
