Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
