She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
You're earring is so big in my mouth
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
