So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
