i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
